The things you'll probably never notice I'm doing on your wedding day

Being your celebrant is about far more than the words I say. Here are the things happening behind the scenes so you don't have to think about them.

A recent couple left me a review that included one line I absolutely loved:

"On the day Jane was there — whatever we needed. Everything from medical emergencies to scissors to cut the label on my dress. Nothing was too much."

It made me smile because, although none of those things appeared in the ceremony script, they are very much part of how I see my role.

Of course, I'm there to conduct your ceremony. I'll have spent months getting to know you, writing your story, helping with your vows, thinking about the music and readings and making sure the whole thing feels unmistakably you.

But on the wedding day itself?

I'm also there to make sure you can forget about as much of the other stuff as possible.

In the last six months alone, I've had a groom with rather spectacularly scuffed knees from a pre-wedding run when he was about to wear a kilt.

I've rescued a flower arrangement knocked over by a small child just as the bride was making her way towards the aisle.

I've looked after guests who arrived very early when there was nowhere obvious for them to go and the violinist was still rehearsing.

I've helped protect a harp from the particular combination of wind and drizzle that only an outdoor British wedding can provide (thankfully the sun came out for the ceremony).

I've moved a large registrar's table that was no longer needed but was sitting squarely in the middle of what would otherwise have been a beautiful ceremony backdrop.

I've found ways to secure reserved-seat signs when someone had forgotten the ties and the wind had other ideas.

And when the forecast finally made its intentions clear, I've helped move an entire outdoor ceremony inside.

None of this is especially glamorous.

But it matters.

There's a reason I arrive prepared.

Scissors? Always.

Water? Of course.

Printed copies of your vows and readings? Absolutely.

Because while beautifully handwritten vows on gorgeous card are wonderful, readings handed to somebody on a slightly flappy piece of A4 paper become rather less wonderful when the wind gets involved.

I even have a portable lectern in the back of my car, complete with interchangeable ribbons to complement different wedding colours. It has saved the day more than once when there hasn't been anything suitable to hold my ceremony script — particularly when I'm simultaneously trying to manage a handheld microphone and several pages of paper in a determined British breeze.

Some things, however, you can't prepare for.

At one wedding, a guest experienced a medical emergency. In that moment, the ceremony became completely irrelevant. What mattered was making sure they were looked after, managing what was happening around them and helping everyone feel calm. The ceremony went ahead only a few minutes late but with everyone well and calm.

That, to me, is part of the job too.

One of the things I love most about celebrant-led weddings is that I'm not simply arriving to perform a ceremony for two people.

I'm walking into a room — or a garden, barn, woodland, château or field — filled with your people.

I want them to feel welcome too.

So if you have guests travelling from overseas, I might learn a few words in their language to welcome them. So far this year that has included Czech and Mandarin Chinese — neither of which are particularly easy to speak, but both of which have created some lovely moments of connection (and a cheer from the members of the family that actually understood what I was saying).

I'll talk to nervous readers before the ceremony. Check they know when they're needed. Make sure the person waiting at the end of the aisle has what they need. Keep an eye on what is happening around us. Answer questions so they don't have to come to you.

And sometimes simply reassure everyone that yes, everything is absolutely fine.

Hopefully, you won't notice most of this.

In fact, that's rather the point.

When you walk into your ceremony, I don't want you wondering whether the reserved signs are blowing across the lawn, whether your reader knows where to stand, whether somebody has moved that enormous table or whether your partner desperately needs a glass of water.

I want you looking at each other.

I want you hearing the laughter.

I want you noticing the faces of the people you love.

I want you to be completely present for the extraordinary few minutes in which all of those people have gathered in one place to watch you make promises to one another.

There is an important difference between booking someone whose role is to conduct the legal formalities of your marriage and choosing a celebrant who has spent months getting to know you and is there specifically to create and hold your ceremony.

For me, that means my job doesn't begin when I say the first words or end when everyone applauds.

It means arriving early. Being prepared. Paying attention. Reading the room. Spotting the things that need doing before you have to ask.

Sometimes it's delivering the words I've spent weeks carefully writing.

Sometimes it's welcoming your mother in Czech.

And sometimes it's standing behind you with a pair of scissors cutting a label out of your wedding dress.

Whatever you need.